Easy answer: when Starbucks or Costa Coffee are making it…

What’s a flat white you ask? I discovered it around 18 months ago, but it’s an Australian classic in the coffee world. The perfect bridge between a double espresso macchiato and a really strong latte, which, done well is the perfect coffee for someone who wants a strong coffee kick and a bit, but not too much, milk on the top. The milk is always full fat, and very silky. The coffee base is usually three shots of “ristretto”, the first bit of espresso that comes out of the machine.

The two big coffee chains I mentioned have recently jumped on a bandwagon that in the UK at least started in coffee houses in Soho and Bloomsbury. Stores such as Monmouth, Flat White, Fernandez & Wells and Lantana have been serving the drink for a few years, and it’s become popular with the crowd of coffee connoisseurs who frequent this rash of independent, antipodean-inspired coffee stores in central London. I’m not sure of the mass appeal of the drink in the UK, because it is quite strong, but it’s certainly an improvement on the popular “latte” or jug of milk with a hint of coffee which people in this country seem to love so much.

Starbucks was first, and it was initially only available in the fancy new concept store just off Regents Street. When I saw the ad I was intrigued and I tried it straight away. Verdict? Starbucks’ bitter coffee isn’t the right base, and the milk they use is semi-skimmed I believe. The new cup they introduced is nice, and the barista tried to achieve the typical flat white pattern on top, but it wasn’t a flat white. It was bitter.

When I landed at Heathrow last Saturday from my trip to Lebanon, I noticed that Costa was making quite a fuss about its version of the flat white. I tried it. Apparently the company has spent upwards of £1million to train staff on how to make this new drink perfectly. What a waste of money! The poor barista, who I truly felt sorry for, couldn’t achieve the pattern which Costa had captured so perfectly in the poster for the new drink. He tried, but explained to me that the one in the poster was the “Picasso version”. The drink itself wasn’t too bad – the coffee an improvement on Starbucks, but there was too much milk as the cup was too big.

If these two coffee monsters are betting that their versions of the flat white are going to make up for falling revenues, I think they’ve bet on the wrong horse. Well actually, maybe the masses will take up the drink and enjoy it. But for a stuck-up, snob of a coffee purist like me, these two versions of a coffee favourite don’t cut the mustard.

If you want to experience the true flat white, get in touch and I’ll take you to Fernandez & Wells!